10 commandments of dating for women
Here are the commandments, with very brief summary notes. Those that don’t risk living the “un-life,” which can be characterized by desperation, dependency, and/or depression. While there’s value in romance, feelings, and emotions, there’s a counter-balance that must be employed, and that’s called “thinking.” They suggest a proper balance between head and heart, avoiding going too fast, involving others in your dating process, and evaluating along the way as helpful steps towards exercising your mind. The areas that can be “compromised,” never in the “major” ones. “Take it slow, to get to know.” COMMANDMENT #5: Thou Shalt Set Clear Boundaries.Fundamental principle: dating is not (and should never become) your life. Don’t fall into a myriad of dysfunctional relationship patterns that are marked by an imbalance of quality in character. The balance of “responsibility” is a challenging one in any relationship.
When it comes to dating, we've all wished for some set of similar guidelines to let us know what rules to play by, a universal code that sets forth a collection of clear-cut understandings. And until it does, the best we can do is rely on the traditional practice of living and learning.With a mere two-week stretch of Sunday school attendance as the extent of my religious practices, I've surprisingly always held the 10 commandments in high regard.They seem noble, really, and they’re simple enough.Any abuse, physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual, ought to result in an immediate break-up. Look for great character, someone who is faithful, honest, committed, forgiving, and generous (giving).Other warning signs are addictions, disrespectfulness, emotional baggage, denial, and irresponsible behavior. And be sure to check in with your friends, their other relationships (with friends and family), and give it lots of time.Not only ought we recognize and value our emotions and body as only “owned” by us, but how does one strive towards intimacy, which requires becoming responsible for someone else. Boundaries, ultimately healthy and necessary, but delicate and difficult to discern. Because of the Christian flavor, this is an “open and shut” case for the authors; “God said so…now here’s why.” Their reasons?
You experience wholeness, higher self-esteem, avoid dangerous or deadly diseases, and you ultimately value your body. Not only is not everyone doing it, and not only is it not possible to get pregnant, and not only will it bring us closer together, but they’ve got great responses to all of those lies.
We all have a list of dos and deal-breakers, that mental checklist of things we will and will not accept in a mate.
(I have a girlfriend who once swore off dating men who drove Mazdas.)While it's important to set the bar high for those we invite into our lives, it's equally important to keep an open mind.
Wait two to four days before suggesting a second date, so you won't seem needy.
Wait an hour before responding to a text, so you seem busy. Ladies, if you don't already have plans, don't say you do.
Hooking up is not to be confused with the art of dating.